Monday, July 30, 2012

Opening My Heart

The week has finally arrived that I'll be leaving to visit him.The last month seriously flew by with just one blink. I'm heading up north to see AJ after 3 long years. We've been in touch over that time but just to see how life was for each other.

I feel God has lead us back together considering what we've been through. I spoke with AJ last fall and he was planning on proposing to the girl he was with this summer which is NOW! When I heard from him again in Mar/April they were no longer together. I keep asking myself why we both come in and out of each others lives the last 3 years but its all in Gods plans for our lives.

Who knows what will happen. Maybe this is closure? Maybe this is the start to our happily ever after. I just don't know. I'm super anxious to see him and just a little nervous. I've been praying like crazy that God will open my heart to whatever happens.

We met when I was working at the airport. The company I worked for lost his luggage for 4 days while he was visiting his brother who was stationed here. AJ saw me before I ever saw him though. As he was coming down the escalator to baggage claim I was sitting in the office waiting on his flight to unload the bags on the carousel. He told his other two brothers that he thought I was pretty & he was going to come talk to me after he got his bag. When his bag never arrived he had no choice but to come chat with me while he filed a claim. Over the next few days after every flight I would call him to update him on his missing bag. The final day before he left it arrived! I called him with good & bad news. The good was his bag came in but the bad was it was the last day we would be talking. He ended up taking me number down and asked me out for coffee that very night. We sat at a local park until the wee hours of the morning just getting to know each other. I felt so comfortable with him.

Since I had the privilege to fly for free with a companion our relationship in the beginning was so easy. I'm not one to have to have a boyfriend with me at all times. I'm so independent and love the freedom. So we booked flights once a month to see each other for a long weekend.

I absolutely love the area in PA where he lives. I'm sure he loved FL too since I live so close to the beach.

I love/loved him so much. I could see us getting married and having kids together. We had our kids names picked out. We talked about moving to NC to be in the middle for our families. I got super scared at the thought of leaving my family & not seeing Haley grow up. Ryne is in the picture and I couldn't imagine not seeing them both grow up. My family has gone through so much since then. A wedding, two divorces, me buying a house...

I never once thought AJ would ever cheat on me and still don't think he ever would to this day. But I was visiting with him and his buddies in PIT when I met this one girl, D, who I seriously could not stand from the moment we met. She's the type of girl who needs attention from every guy who comes in her path. She flirted with AJ right in front of my face and he never thought anything of it. I hated when he went to PIT. I still have a hate for that city that I can't seem to shake. This was the girl he was planning on proposing to!

How insane is that! And now they no longer are together. I have no clue if he even still talks to her. All I care about is that we talk almost daily and I'm heading to see him on Saturday.

Here's to either a happy ever after or a continuation of me finding Mr.Right.

I'm honestly ready for what God throws my way. Whether its me picking up my life and moving to PA and finding a new job or staying put here. I'm definitely not rushing into whatever happens. But I won't put my life on hold again.

I'm still in shock that I'm going to visit him.


1 comment:

  1. Good luck Jenna, I'll be praying for you. Either way at least you'll not spend forever wondering what may have been.

    You're so brave to open your heart.


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